National Scoundrel’s Day
National Scoundrel’s Day
By Jack Rawlins
Chuckle Hill, NC — Jonathan Swift, president of Tongue in Cheek Card Company today announced another new excuse to send expensive greeting cards: National Scoundrel’s Day.
The new celebration will recognize the nasty behavior of all those who have earned the title of Scoundrel. When Swift first approach the National Gift Card Association with the idea, he was met with enthusiastic approval. However, his original suggestion that it be called National Turd Day was rejected by the approval committee. The approvers disapproved on the grounds that “While apt and descriptive, some folks could never bring themselves to say turd if they had a mouthful and would find the name distasteful.”
The purpose of Scoundrel’s Day is to let offenders know that we remember who they are and to help extend their days of infamy beyond the few days of bad press they may have received. Few people have the time or talent to write op-ed pieces or to compose vitriolic hate mail.
According to Swift, even though “Vengeance is mine…saith the Lord,” you can now help do His work with a temporal dig. Tongue in Cheek Cards will provide you with biting satire, parody, irony, and fitting wit.
The Company plans to erect a Scoundrel Hall of Fame in Coopers Town, NY. They will also sponsor an annual competition for Scoundrels of the Year with appropriate award ceremonies. Nominees may choose to accept the award in absentia, but they will not avoid the opprobrium and notoriety they’ve earned.
Scoundrel’s Day is not aimed at your average hardened criminal. It is dedicated to those pompous asses and ego maniacs who pull stuff they think—and often do—get away with.
The American Greeting Card Association was reluctant at first to accept the idea of running National Scoundrel’s Day in conjunction with Valentines Day. However, Swift pointed out that anyone who enters a card store will now have an opportunity to buy a card for someone whom they care about one way or the other.
Talking cards will also be available with boos, cat calls, hisses, belches and other appropriate sounds befitting scoundrel behavior.
The new line of cards which will be available in 2011 will be launched with a marketing campaign named: “Revenge: How Sweet It Is. Send a Card to Someone You Detest.”
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